(This story originally appeared ondepaulbluedemons.com)
For the first nineteen years of my life, I didn't see myself as disabled.
I mean, I knew I was born missing my left hand because of a condition called amniotic band syndrome.
But I considered myself just like everybody else.
I think that outlook is largely because of the approach my parents took. They never made me feel like having one hand was a bad thing and they always pushed me to do whatever I put my mind to.
I think that really stuck with me and shaped how I view myself and my goals as an athlete.
I also lived in central Illinois and don't remember meeting any other disabled people — from grade school through high school, I can't remember another disabled athlete.
So, I never really had a community that shared my experiences.
Starting in grade school, I played every sport that I had access to in my small town. I never remember feeling like I only had one hand. It was always just, "You're going to figure it out."
And I did.
I worked harder than everybody else and always went the extra mile so I could be just as good as the other able-bodied kids.
Then in eighth grade, I found track and field and it became my passion.
Transitioning to Adaptive Athletics
After high school, I knew I wanted to keep throwing but I also wanted to go to school in Chicago. The one that looked the best for throwers, in my opinion, wasDePaul Universityso I ended up going there.
When I got to DePaul, I was not anywhere near the best athlete on the team. It was only my freshman year but it was still hard feeling like I was the worst thrower on the team.
But I kept that same mindset of working harder than everybody else. I knew that regardless of how a meet went, I knew that I did as much as I could to prepare.
And I got better.
About a year and a half into my time at DePaul,Coach Murerapproached me about being a Paralympic athlete.
At first, I had a lot of reservations.
But, I said yes.
The start of my adaptive sports career was really challenging from an identity standpoint.
When I went to my first meet, I didn't think I had any place there because I never saw myself as disabled. I always trained like an able-bodied athlete, so I kind of felt like I was cheating the system somehow.
I think I had this internalized ableism but being involved in the Paralympics made me confront my own identity.
I met so many great athletes and as I worked through my journey in adaptive sports, I began to break down those biases and see myself as not just an athlete but a para-athlete.
I have wondered if getting involved in para sports at an earlier age would've made coming to terms with my identity as a disabled person easier but everybody's journey is different.
Being in able-bodied sports all my life formed such a drive and work ethic within me, and I was going to need those attributes if I wanted to be the best thrower in Paris.
The 2024 Summer Paralympics.
Training for Paris
When I got back from the World Championships in July, Coach Murer and I got to work on our plan for the entire season.
This was going to be my last college season so I wanted to do a good job, but the main goal was the Paralympics.
Investing so much time and effort into something that — for a long time — felt so far away was really hard. It was definitely the most challenging year of training I've ever had as an athlete, both physically and emotionally.
Training for the Paralympics involved fully breaking down my form and rebuilding it.
By tweaking so much of my form, my performances in January and February began to suffer and it was hard to not have the gratification of all the work I was doing.
During this time, I started going to therapy and it helped me realize that while I worked so hard on the physical aspects of throwing, I neglected the emotional and mental parts.
I had so much performance anxiety and my therapist and I worked tirelessly to help me get out of my own head.
From that point, I decided I was going to be confident and always remind myself that I've done all the work that I can.
And that really helped my training.
After my season, I did some one-on-one training with Coach Murer, too.
For the first time, I was feeling like a professional athlete and it felt like a whole new experience.
We went to the Paralympic Trials in South Florida and this is where things truly started to feel real.
The emotions came in a flood when I heard them call my name.
My vision of making the Paralympics had come true.
I just made myTeam USA.
The Paralympics
And then, I won gold.
Honestly, I'm not sure if any of this has set in for me yet. The whole experience doesn't even feel like real life.
My entire family got to come out to Paris to watch me, and for a lot of them, it was their first international trip.
Having all these people that I love get to see me perform at the biggest moment in my career was so amazing.
The lead-up to the meet was a bit tough.
I was having those nervous thoughts and insecurities about my training.
But when I actually got to the meet, they all disappeared.
I think my mental toughness finally matched my physical preparation and I was present in a way that I had never been before at a competition.
When I stepped into the ring for my first throw, I got into my stance and heaved the shot put.
13.51.
Gold medal.
Now, I knew I could push it.
I wanted to break the world record. I didn't work this hard to not go for it, right?
Every failure I had during training, every meet that I cried coming home from, all that time I spent not knowing who I was as an athlete — it all led to this.
I started my throw and I knew it was going to be a big one.
I got through my technique perfectly and it felt powerful.
I watched the shot put sail towards the 15m marker.
I looked up at the big screen.
14.06.
New world record.
Best moment of my life.
