The tragedies of September 11 not only shocked and saddened but also scared my teammates and me -- much like they did many in the United States and throughout the world. The constant television and radio coverage along with discussion in all our classes during the week left us with a never-before-felt feeling of numbness and confusion. We were overwhelmed with grief for the victims and their loved ones, and for the first time we were questioning the future state and security of our nation.

On Thursday, we were told our team would still compete over the weekend in the 12-team Illinois Wesleyan Classic volleyball tournament. The decision itself ignited a combined feeling of optimism and comfort that simply was nonexistent the two previous days.

Many student-athletes at the college level are far-removed from their homes and families, so teammates and coaches fill the void; our team is our second family. We turn to our teammates and coaches to help us deal with situations when comfort over the telephone and through e-mail just isn't enough. In this moment of desperation, I -- like my teammates -- needed the support and comfort of that second family.

The tournament itself gave all 12 teams competing the opportunity to openly deal with the tragedy. Physically doing something to show concern in itself worked as a stress and anxiety reliever for us and, as minuscule as the actions may seem on the surface, made us feel as though we were helping in some way. Our team proudly used paint on the side of our bus to declare we were "Proud to be Americans." We tied red, white and blue ribbons in our hair with red and blue painted fingernails. We also released balloons after our emotional team discussion about the events of the week. Other teams brought strings and beads for the left shoes of every player and coach in the tournament, and the $1,200 collected in tournament entry fees went to the relief fund in New York City.

Each day before playing, a dedication to the victims and their families was announced and a moment of silence was observed before the national anthem. The 12 teams playing in the tournament were unified in a way I had never before witnessed; although we were competing among each other, we all were on the same side. We all were unified at that moment not because of sport, but because we all were Americans. Had we not played this tournament, it's possible we all would have been in our homes and dorms watching ceaseless hours of television trying individually to find some sense of inner peace among all of the devastation.

I respect and understand other administrators' decisions not to let some sporting events be played that weekend, but I do believe playing was the best decision for the 12 teams at our tournament. Although we played our games, at no time did we forget and at no time did the tragedy leave our minds. The image of the World Trade Centers is so ingrained in our minds that we can close our eyes and see it perfectly; it was always there when we were playing and it's still there now.

We did not play that weekend to defeat the opposing team, better our records, to forget, or to be disrespectful. We simply played because it's what we love to do, and it was the best way for us all to handle such a horrifying situation. It was an escape, an escape that rekindled hope and unity in all of us.