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Coach’s daughter keeps teams grounded in priorities

By David Pickle
NCAA.org

Thanks to a tiny girl who has experienced more difficulty in two years than many people will in a lifetime, members of the Regis (Colorado) and Colorado School of Mines men’s soccer teams have discovered a new dimension of “family.”

Kenleigh McCall, the daughter of Regis coach Tony McCall, was born prematurely 23 months ago, weighing only 1 pound, 14 ounces. She survived two heart surgeries last November and December and then struggled to overcome pneumonia and other infections. She also is afflicted with Down syndrome, a serious chromosomal disorder.

It all sounds like a nightmare, but instead, the story turns out to be about the power of friendship and life lessons.

Colorado School of Mines soccer coach Frank Kohlenstein and McCall have known one another for more than 25 years, tracing their friendship to when they both coached in the Southeast. These days, they find themselves matched up in Division II’s Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference where Mines is currently No. 4 nationally and Regis No. 9.

Even though McCall and Kohlenstein are rivals, they are friends first, which is why the Orediggers for the last two years have donated money to the Mile High Down Syndrome Association in Kenleigh’s honor.

“I’ve known Tony for a long time,” Kohlenstein said, “and I’ve seen how much difference having Kenleigh in his life has made for him, and it’s something great to see.”

The donation was generous, but it was the closeness of the coaches that led to Part 2 of the story – a prematch lesson on keeping matters in perspective.

“I think sometimes the athletes believe the coaches don’t like or understand or respect each other,” Kohlenstein said. “We felt like it was important for the players to hear how we feel about each other.”

So the coaches did just that. They gathered the players together before their Sept. 24 match to tell them that they are competitors and not enemies.

“That’s what it should be,” Kohlenstein said. “You want to kick each others’ brains out for 90 minutes, but then when it’s over, you can shake hands, respect each other and even like each other.”

Said McCall: “Both of our groups have seen how you can be competitors, but you can do it in such a way that there’s respect. And I think that’s important at the Division II level and any level in athletics. There should be mutual respect, and we sometimes lose sight of the fact that, ultimately, it’s just a game.”

Friends have mattered deeply to the McCall family as they have entered this chapter of their lives. In addition to the recognition from opponents like Colorado School of Mines, they have been bolstered by the actions of others surrounding the program, especially parents of the student-athletes.

“My wife Jennifer is not a huge soccer person, but she really enjoys the camaraderie of the team, especially the parents,” he said. “They all come around during the game, and they’ll take Kenleigh off Jenn’s hands and take her across the field and hang out with her. So it’s truly a family thing, and my wife is very touched by it.”

McCall knows that his life has been altered forever by Kenleigh’s condition, but he believes it has been changed for the better.

“When you have a child who has a disability, your norm is changed a little bit,” he said. “There’s a great analogy that comes out with Down syndrome families. It’s like we were all set to go on a vacation. We thought we were going to Italy, but we ended up in Holland. You know what? Holland’s not so bad. It’s just not Italy.

“Whatever you thought your norm would be, it’s just shifted a little bit. But to be honest with you, I wouldn’t change a thing.”

As for Mines, the players found they received more than they gave.

“Several of them told me afterward when we were eating pizza that they thought it was really a good thing,” Kohlenstein said. “That’s good because one of the big things I want to make sure of it that you realize what a good feeling you get when you do something good.”