I'm coming out of the closet, and I'm looking for others who are willing to take this risk as well.

No, I'm not gay. But I am claiming responsibility as a straight ally -- someone who takes an active role in ensuring the rights of all gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered individuals to a safe, welcoming place on campus, particularly in the world of intercollegiate athletics.

Having recently attended the NCAA Title IX Seminar in Washington, D.C., I was greatly moved by the sessions entitled "Finding Common Ground and Embracing Differences" and "Sexual Orientation: What Athletics Administrators Need to Know." I learned eye-opening statistics, such as that gay teens commit suicide at a rate 30 percent higher than straight teens, and that 50 percent of homeless youth and 50 percent of high-school dropouts are believed to be gay. I heard from students themselves about the gay-bashing that goes on behind locker room doors and negative gay-chants that emanate through our stadiums and arenas, taunts that go unchallenged and unchecked by our coaches and administrators.

I've spent my professional life thinking I was as GLBT-supportive as I could be. Some of my closest friends are gay. (Where have we heard that before?) I've known many students who are gay. Yet it was clear to me I had not done enough to help defuse the hostility. My thinking was, I'm not gay-bashing, I'm friends with many gay people, so by default I'm doing my part. As one Title IX Seminar panelist emphasized, though, silence is not the same as support, and indeed, it can be construed as quite the opposite.

This suddenly rang true when I thought back about a former student who a number of years after graduation came out to me. I had absolutely no idea that she was a lesbian. She had been living the classic closeted life, pretending to be heterosexual. At some point after her graduation, we lost touch. I eventually sent her a Christmas card that simply said how much I missed her friendship and hoped she was doing OK. A few days later I received a long letter from her, and her anxiety was

palpable as she revealed her secret.

I was crushed. Not about the fact that she was gay, but about the fact that she did not trust me enough to tell me long ago. Listening to the speakers at the seminar, I realized how much of that was my own fault. I assumed she knew I would be supportive. But I underestimated the negativism and hostility that GLBT people deal with on a daily basis, and the defense mechanisms they are forced to put in place. Since I never actually made such a statement of support in my professional dealings with staff and students, she chose to protect herself and assume I was not an ally.

So what can you do to come out as a straight ally? Quite simply: Speak your support. Here are some of the suggestions I heard that I would urge all administrators and coaches to use in helping to create a safe and welcoming environment for our GLBT student-athletes and staff:

In your meetings with staff and student-athletes, make it clear that you do not condone negative language and slurs, be it in the locker room, in the competition arena or in recruiting discussions.

Use your conference SAAC grant to bring in a speaker to talk about tolerating differences.

Include a statement in your pregame announcements that prohibits abusive language regarding sexual orientation.

Let it be known that your door is always open for confidential discussion on the matter. You can even do it symbolically, by displaying a pink triangle or rainbow somewhere visible in your office -- it will be noticed.

As I sat typing this on Mother's Day, I realize that a great part of my fervor comes from having the responsibility of caring for a child. No loving parent could tolerate such mistreatment of his or her children, and I am no exception. I also am not naïve. When The NCAA News ran an article last October regarding homophobia in intercollegiate athletics, the staff received letters denouncing their laudable effort to bring this serious matter to light. I expect to receive similar indictments. To them I say: Everyone deserves a safe environment to grow and learn. Let's make it a priority on our campuses and especially in our athletics departments.

I realize now that I have many gay friends in intercollegiate athletics who have not actually come out to me, and will meet many more students, coaches and administrators in the years to come. Today I am choosing to take a risk and come out as a straight ally. I hope you will do the same.

Donna M. Ledwin is the commissioner of the Allegheny Mountain Collegiate Conference.