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NCAA News Archive - 2001
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Marriage may be a trend in college sports
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The NCAA News
Love seems to be in the air at college athletics departments across the country.
More student-athletes, already strapped for time between the demands of class and athletics, appear to be choosing to enter into the most important relationship they will ever have: marriage.
At the University of North Carolina, Greensboro, two student-athlete couples -- Luke Boythe and Melissa Ennis, and Nathan Jameson and Robyn Freeh -- tied the knot last summer.
Call them crazy college kids. Or just plain lovestruck. But by all means, call them Mr. and Mrs.
The Boythes met in class, while Cupid's arrow hit the Jamesons in the training room. Both couples had a brief courtship and an even shorter time to adjust to married life. Robyn plays volleyball and Melissa plays soccer. Almost as soon as they wed their husbands, they were whisked away to preseason training. About the time their seasons wrapped up, their husbands' basketball seasons began.
"It was hard, but there's a higher level of understanding because we're both athletes and we know what it's like to be in practice," Robyn Jameson said.
It also helps to have someone around looking to attend road games.
"Melissa's great. It's good to have someone to talk to who really understands," she said.
The Marist College basketball team understands the married experience. At one point during Blake Sonne's career, he was among five Marist players who were married.
"It was a big support, especially for the wives," Sonne said.
And the support he found from the relationship with his wife T.J. was greater still. After the birth of their son Austin, Blake said his wife took care of the baby while he slept. "She understood I needed sleep for basketball," he said. "If not for her, I don't know what I would have done."
Sonne said the few years they have shared have built a solid foundation for the future. "She's been a great experience and a great wife," he said.
Mansfield University of Pennsylvania football player Joshua Frick can appreciate Sonne's sentiments. "I always knew that I needed someone to push me but be supportive in everything that I wanted to do. Rossemary has been all of that," he said.
"She never complains about me not getting home until 6 p.m. when I could have been home at 2 p.m. but stayed to watch film and lift weights."
The addition of son Justus to their family has doubled his responsibilities.
"He just loves me no matter what happens, and that really feels good," Frick said.
Big adjustment
If one baby doubles the demands for a married student-athlete, then who knows how to describe the situation of University of Akron football athlete Richard Reliford. He and wife LaTonya welcomed twins TayLore Debra-Ann and Richard II into the world, and life hasn't been the same since. The childhood sweethearts rely on the strength of their relationship to weather the storm of parenthood.
"If you're not strong beforehand, it could be a strain on the relationship because you have no time and every conversation you have ends up about the kids," LaTonya said.
Adjusting to a new life together, kids or not, comes in ways large and small. For Nathan Jameson, his daily schedule now includes tasks such as taking out the trash and doing the dishes. Sonne has parted with any hope of a social life, but that's fine with him.
As for the Relifords, they can't remember what sleep feels like.
But these athletes know every marriage has its ups and downs and they keep that in mind.
"It might be a little tough now while we're in school," Jameson said, "but it'll be special later on because we're going through the rough times together."
Frick can relate. "Don't get me wrong," he said. "We fight about things and it feels really hard sometimes. But anything worth having is going to take hard work."
Hard work includes making the effort to spend time together -- even if it means date night at the library, as with the Jamesons.
In the team setting, adjustments have to be made, too. The team is no longer the only "family" the athlete has.
Robyn Jameson said her teammates were at first "intimidated" by her new status, "but now they think it's awesome." It was a different situation with her husband and Luke Boythe, who found their teammates just couldn't stop asking questions.
"I find myself answering questions like I'm Dr. Ruth," Boythe said. Both men might have started a trend. Two more members of the team have become engaged since the weddings.
Melissa Boythe said her coaches joke about how more people on the team should get married. "When I came to preseason after the wedding, I was in the best shape of my life," she said.
Boythe said perspectives changed after her marriage. "It was hard for them to see me hang out with Luke so much," she said, "but they realized I had something special and that they had to change the way they looked at my life."
Jameson said his coach helped him to see "that my No. 1 priority now is not basketball; it's my wife." Boythe said he was given the same message. Both men said their commitment to their team has not changed since they married -- just the topics of conversation. "Now, we share funny stories with the coaches about being married," Boythe said.
None of the couples thought they were missing out on the college experience. Instead, they thought they were enhancing it. They have made the time to maintain their relationships, whether it is the Boythes' standing "pancakes-on-Saturday-mornings" date or the few hours Frick can fit in to see his wife and son.
They grasp the serious nature of their commitments and look forward to the years to come.
"A marriage is not 50/50," Nathan Jameson said, "It's 100/
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